i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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