I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
