You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
