Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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