I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
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Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You're a waste of cheezeits
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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