Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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