I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
