would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
