So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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