I am puke
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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