Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
