it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
