Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
