Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
