i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
