Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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