Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
