Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
