it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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