FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
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Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
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I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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