I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
