ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
