The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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