Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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