Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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