i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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