It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
