I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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