first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
