The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
