I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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