How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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