The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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