I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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