You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
