I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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