You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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