Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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