on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
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17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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