Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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