I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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