Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
