I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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