I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
