I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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