lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
