I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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