Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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