Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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