check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
