You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
