stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
