Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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