Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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