I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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