some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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