She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
