STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
