scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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