You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
