it wasn't lemon gatorade
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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