I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
