woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
we should paint friendship bongs
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