haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just cropdusted the office
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
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