At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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