Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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