I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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