last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
