yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
