If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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