i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
